"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

-- The Dalai Lama

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

It Begins

Technically, "it" began a couple of years ago when I decided that this law school thing may just be the "right thing" for me. I read the books (Law School Confidential, One L, etc.) and still I thought that yes, this is good. This is a Good Decision.

So, about a year ago I started studying for the LSAT. I got the Kaplan book and the Kaplan CD. I got the "10 Real" booklet of past published tests. I took Intro to Logic. Ultimately I ended up taking tests 1-42 (at least once) before encountering My Test. Test #43.

It's only Tuesday. Almost exactly 24 hours ago it began, and yet it feels as if it were a very long time ago. Or possibly never. Even though I've (pretty much) decided that I want to attend a law school that happens to admit candidates with significantly lower LSAT scores than the level I had been practicing at, I still couldn't help but be overwhelmed with what This Test meant. It potentially meant the difference between an excellent school and a mediocre one. Or a full ride and nothing.

And then The Question: "How did it go?" Well, I didn't panic, even when I didn't exactly rock the games section. And I didn't have to guess on any questions at all. These are Good Things. Still, it all felt off. I honestly have no clue what my score will be. They say that if you don't feel you screwed up you probably scored within your practice range. Let's hope They are right.

So why aren't I more relieved? Why can't I just say, "I did my best, it's out of my hands?" I was up all night wound up so tight I got physically sick and ended up with chest pains and hyperventilating.

I have been studying for This Test for so long that it became a sort of fixture in my existence. Now It has been replaced with a less hands on experience: Waiting.

I don't do so well with the Waiting. I have a very active imagination that tends toward the worst case scenario side of things. So - I will try to keep busy and try not to create hypothetical situations. Good luck to me.


Anonymous said...

Good luck to you, indeed! Don't worry about it. People get so damned wrapped up in LSAT scores and GPAs, and it's really quite silly. Better idea: Spend your time researching schools you'd really *like* to attend and then complete the best application you can to get in. Then, think seriously about what kind of job you'd like to do once you get your J.D. The more you know at this point about where you're headed, the more likely you are to arrive there eventually, regardless of what your LSAT number turns out to be. I'm sure it will all be fine.

-ambimb (http://mowabb.com/ai)

Shannon said...

Thanks! Yeah, the LSAT really wound me up. I'm happy it's over and I'm happy to be feeling much better now :) I actually did fine and have since visited some schools and have done research - I now have a short list of schools (one in particular) that I will be applying to. Most are "reachable" and I have an actual reason for wanting to attend each one. I have surprised myself - I thought I was much more of a prestige whore than I actually am! Who knew? Anyway, none of my reasons have anything to do with rankings and am 99% sure of where I'll end up next fall.

Thanks so much for your nice comments and support :)